Thursday, January 18, 2007

The Profoundness of Silence

Withdrawing, "stonewalling," and pouting in silence are ways some people handle anger. Such a silence can be pulsating with bad feelings and elicit anger on the part of the other person. While it's almost never an indication of indifference, silence can indicate that the other person is having negative emotions. When we experience anger, fear, or embarrassment, our thinking brain shuts down. We sit there fuming, unable to speak; enraged and unable to find words; afraid and scared speechless. Some people are "flooded" with these emotions, and unable to respond. Sometimes when we're listening to someone else, we hear something that leaves us speechless because it really goes beyond words. Listening to someone talk about a dreadful trauma they've endured, or a beautiful, almost-sacred interaction with another human being or a description of an awesome natural event such as a sunset or a volcano eruption is examples. Somehow when we listen to such things, the ordinary "Oh" and "Wow" and "That's awesome" don't seem enough, and so we fall silent. When you are profoundly listening to someone, you create an open space for them to talk into that's almost palpable. Good listeners know how to do this, and it can be learned. It's an openness that you transmit through nonverbal means. When we're really tuning in to how the other person feels, we're listening more to the tone of their voice; cadence and speed rather than the actual words, so reply with words may not be the most appropriate response. Sometimes sounds are more attuned ... a murmur, a sigh, sucking in the breath in shock, soothing sounds, clucking (tsk tsk), or shaking the head and going uh, uh, uh.

There are long roads to follow as it’s growing longer and longer… the spaces between those boarders are now getting narrow. I see him sleeping in silence so quietly, as I continue to reach deep within him. But still the spaces hinder me from coming nearer. The pain cripples as hard as it can, tormenting every inch of me. People asked me why?
Why do I still continue living like this that for a fact I keep on hurting myself inch by inch? And why do I still continue to sound as mushy as before?

I shut myself up in silence, pretending nothing had happened. I hope it will not go on like this forever. Setting as temporarily lukewarm makes me feel uneasy and weary if you know what I mean. And if that’s what his been trying to imply as I see fit.

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